I'm not what to say, or what I can say. I know I have a lot to answer for and even more to own up to. It took Clyde's passing to make me see that.
Look, I make no excuse... No apology for the things I've done will ever be enough. So I won't ask for forgiveness. I won't even ask that you read this. I did what I thought I had to. I walked my path, and it led to the death of my friend.
Alas, Clyde. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Clarice. Please... I tried. I really did. Once I knew Clarice was going to The Ruins, I was feeding Clyde as much information as I could. Hell, if you want, you can find my spoon feeding in black text. I just...
I didn't seize the day and now my friend is dead.
I know Clarice posted about how I was forced to act the role of the sadistic villain and that I didn't really enjoy it. Well... It was a job to me. It was more that I just didn't care, really. I don't know if I do even now. Yes, I helped save Ron Foster from the clutches of my former master, and I avenged Clyde by helping slay Allen. I do love my wife, Lucy. Outside of that, I don't know what else still stirs in my heart. I've felt apathetic to the needs of many, in particular those opposing Him, for many years. Has that changed? Will it change? I don't know.
One person I know I won't come to care for is Allen "Al(x)ne" Smith. Good riddance.
That said, we've probably opened up a new can of worms: the oft spoke of Lone Hunter. Smith's personal assassin, and...brother. He will be seeking revenge for what we did to Allen. Allen gave him the password to The Land of Black Leaves, so I'm sure we can expect him to be the next to take over that blog. Don't worry, Pete, Slice and Core. It will be me he comes after first, so if I can get the better of him, we'll be fine. Just keep an eye out on my old blog.
Well, I guess I'll find out. I set out to search for Lucy now. I refused to have her tell me where she went, just in case I, too, was captured. I guess I will find out what I'm made through this new blog.
Eleven years. Back in 1999, when I was still a professor's assistant, I would never have guessed what a can of worms I was opening up by investigating Der Ritter. That professor even told me not to pursue it. In retrospect, I think he may have known something. Along the way, I intend to return to the museum where it all began to try to contact him when I can. I don't know what the lead will wield, but I guess anything is worth a shot where The Black King is concerned.
Disregard me and distrust me all you wish. I've more than earned it for what I've helped put young Mr. Foster through. Do I feel remorse? Well, I felt something when I looked into Ron's eyes when we extracted him. I don't know what it was, though. Look at me, a lifetime of memories and I'm more alien to human emotion than Pete. Speaking off...
Pete, listen. Your life before this... Only you remain of the life you once had. I literally can't post the details, but it involved The Black King, so you can probably make a pretty close guess as to what transpired.
Even if you ever do regain your memory, you have nothing left to go back to. The Black King pruned all connections you had created through social interaction long ago, and Clyde and I helped Him do it. That's how we know who you are.
Towards the end, your fight was a quest for revenge. Your hate made it easier to defeat you. Keep your head even if you do remember. The only thing you have left is to move forward and try to save Ron.
You true name is... is... Damn, I can't type it out. My lips are sealed concerning your real name as Clyde's were concerning Where The Lost Ones Go.
I still have the power to enter subdimensions set up by The Black King. The Ruins is the only location I know of for sure, though. I'd have to find another entryway after finding out where another one even is before I could enter. I do know others exist, though. 'He' told me that, himself, long ago, when He first inroduced me to The Ruins.
Clarice, I buried Clyde at the location I emailed to you. I also have a few keepsakes he wanted you to have. I intend to return them to you. Just email me the details of when and where you want them received.
I'll keep in touch. Ask any questions you want. I doubt I can be as insightful as Thage, Reach, or the like, but I have served Him for eleven years. Not the forty years Reach endured, but it's something.